The Elks

Yesterday i was inside allot, because of the cold..let me tell you bout the cold...its damn cold that's what it is..any hoe, it was not inviting you to go outside, so i stayed inside..but often when one spend a great amount of time indoors, one gets restless..so after a while i decided to take a little walk. First i had to dress myself. Three pair of pants, two hats, five scarfs and eleven sweaters. I decided to take the park route to pay a visit to my friends..the elks. The elks are the guardians of the park. They are huge, brown and have horns, so they have taken the natural position of guarding the park..They stand there high up in the hills, watching down on the city, the people and possible on other elks in the woods somewhere.They don't have the authority though to take action, when a possible crime is taking place, they simply have to report to a human, cause the humans have the guns and..the elks doesn't use guns.. The sun was about to settle in when i after a long climb reached the door to the elk house and they looked a bit sleepy when i raised my hand and said..elks, i come in peace..what is that..i heard on of the elks whisper to another..has someone done it whit your niece..here it has to be added that elks normally don't hear that good..their ears are filled with thick hair..the sight, that's more their thing..The big alpha male muttered back to me..what do you want, my niece is not here and we are busy...this doesn't shake me off, because i know since old that elks are a bit grumpy but underneath all the facade, they are quiet nice and descent creatures..wait id just wanna talk to you a little bit, you see I've been indoors the hole day, I'm bored and i need some advice...here i might sound a bit desperate..but i was..the alpha male shakes his big horns and opens the gate to let me in....so kiddo..what kind of advice do you want..hmm..i answer, i was wondering..yes there is this thing that has been bothering me a bit...why hasn't anyone given me a job yet? hahahaa the elk laughs and laughs..and laughs..and I'm starting to think that he is gonna die on me..just like that...but then he stops and looks serious..you need to get a haircut he says..wait a minute i say..my hair is not that bad...but the elk doesn't answer..he just give me a long look before he kicks me out with his back legs and says goodnight kiddo, the sun is settling and that means crimes..so tatata!...damn you elks i think when i walk down the hill again....

people

Yes i feel that people are bothering me a little bit lately..not people in general, no no general people are good, but people in particular. The People that sit in their offices with their bread crumbles in their laps, and with their pictures of smiling family members in front of them, people that sit there, surfing their days away, googling their own names, passing time by the water machine and bothering me with their trained bureaucracy. I came to Sweden thinking that the people would welcome me, like a long lost daughter or at least send me a ice cream cake, but nope..they are instead trying to make everything as complicated as possible. Like registering me in the country...Today i was walking to through the central station to have a cup of coffee with my good friend katarina, when i got stopped by a young guy with shiny teeth...stop he said, don't i know you! ..no no.. i answered you don't... YES i do, we went to the same high school, i cant believe you don't recognise me he continues, with a shiny teeth smile....i say that i don't recognize him, and ask suspiciously what the name of the school is that we shared....He doesn't remember that ,but he is a mobile phone salesman and has a great offer for me. He shows me this very nice phone that works like an ipod with everything in it.and its for free..almost....I'm trying to get away thinking that this must come with a hatch..people just don't give you nice phones for almost nothing like that...but he continues, he really wants to sell me this deal..and goes on and on..finally i say..alright yes i take it just give me the goddamn phone..i sign the papers feeling that this was probably the best thing this day, while he is doing a check on my social numbers...I'm all set to plug the phone in, when he says with tears in his eyes...you are not a Swedish citizen are you....yes yes i am..he says No, you are not listed in the country.....in one second he has demolished the signed papers and turned away from me..so i have to walk away with shame, no phone, no country..the thing is that i registered when i came back, but some of this particular people seem to have spilled coffee on my application or something so...
The list could go on...like the stupid people on the Internet company or the people that are supposed to give me a job...
i need a beer.

The birds

I got so disappointed today...i was walking my usual route through the park..lately there have been this two birds, two huge black birds with red bills hanging out together, by the water. I have often seen them stand there, looking sleepy on one leg. So the last days I've been watching them, not that they do much though..but still..today when i was getting ready to pass their hangout, i even took my camera with me this time, they where gone..no sight of two sleepy red bills or black feathers....where are they?? i asked the park attendant, who passed by with a barrel, filled with attendant tools...the birds? he asked, while stroking his ponytail..yes..the big black birds..i answered, getting irritated..ooh those..he continues..yesterday we had a little accident here in the park..the birds came between so to speak...what do you mean, my pulse raising, did something happened to those sweet birds? the attendant shook his head...yes yes sad story actually....he goes on..yesterday, there came this big evil looking bastard of a bear..maybe to find a pit, what do i know..but one thing i know for sure, the bastard was hungry, real hungry..the attendant gets something in his eye, and stops for a moment trying to get it out..yes..i say..continue..ohoh..anyway..the bear ate the birds, with feathers and everything, didn't leave so much as trace after him..you r kidding me!, i outburst..no no, the attendant shakes his head and starts to walk down the hill with his barrel....just as im thinking.. this is probably the last time i see him..he turns around, holding his hand for his eyes, as protection for the sun and says...
we are having a memorial thing for the birds later, if you want to come by..

Thessis

So here i am, at the student library, pretending to be a student. I think im pretty good at it, having my not yet finished thessis infront of me all the time, while browsing the worlwideweb. I hate my thessis...its impossible to finish it..im my desperation i've actually thrown myself several ihavefinishedmythessis partys already, feeling proud and accomplished, happily receiving good job and congratulations to you! greetings from friends and family. But the thessis is still there, breathing on my desktop. Im starting to think that im suffering from some great unwill to finish it..that when i do there is nothing left to pretend about, cause its kind of nice to sit here at the university pretending to be an academic, instead of not pretending to be a poor worker, without a degree, waiting for a job..anyhoe, i told my proffesor that she will have it on her desk by friday..i think that i've manged to build up some great expectations about it...by all the time telling her..soon, soon, only some little things left now, i want it to be perfect, just exellent you know..and she always nods her head, answering, good work johanna, im so looking forward seeing it! What i dont tell her is that it kind of sucks..that im just sitting in the library all day looking for typos..

welcome me!

Well..i've tried it before..opening a blog..getting more connected..and always with the result of failing...but maybe this time it will be for real..oh yeah!
so, anyhoe...im back in sweden..its kind of strange..and wet..because its raining all the time..big fat swedish drops..but mostly strange, it feels now that ive been away for too long of a time, to be able to settle in with an ease. I started my settling in this weekend doe, by having a homecoming party..it was nice like hell..people got drunk, made out and drank all my taxfree booze..me an my friend tomas started fighting about who was the strongest..it started out all modest, with some good old armwrestling..i was pretty sure of winning, beacuse he has thin arms..but i didnt, so i had to slap him on the winning arm..and then he slapped me..a bit to hard, so i had to hit him with the fist, and the he had to hit me with the fist, damn copycat..it all escalated with some heavy pinching and incredible blue arms..we couldnt come to a conclusion doe, whom was the strongest..so we have decided to meet again this week and compare the bruces, the one with bluest arm wil get a free beer...he claims ofcourse that he is the winner, that he was in so much pain and shame today that he had to wear longsleev for work..i dont believe it..