Gothenburg is the new black?

Grandpa

2007-07-24T07:45:00.000Z

My grandparents are visiting. They traveled by ferry over an ocean from a little country more south than mine, but yet not that south, the Netherlands. They arrived the other day, worn out from the long and shaky night spent on German ferry. They told me, they hadn't slept at all, that the food was crap and they didn’t even win anything on the slot machines. My grandparents are old but not too old, they have just reach the high peek where complaining is a vivid part of daily life. My grandfather brought his own potatoes from home. Look at this he said, this is quality, he took one chubby potato in his wrinkly hand and smiled. They don't make them like this anywhere else. The Dutch potato is the best and that’s that. He told me that he even brought a sac with him, when traveling to Canada some years ago. Staying away
from home, for more than a week needs a certain amount of secured potatoes. For the Canada trip he stuffed a potato in every empty space, counting pockets and hand luggage. When asking what the customs must have said, spotting all those potatoes everywhere, he answers with a smug face... they didn’t say anything…they understood..

When going to a restaurant with my grandfather his little peculiarities can be a problem. He often wrinkles his nose to all dishes put in front of him, shaking his head, looking disappointed. He simply doesn’t understand why he can't bring his own got damn potatoes to the restaurant. Growing up in a village with only 115people, life outside the village borders gets to him as somewhat strange and sci-fi. Like paying for stuff... when the situation occur he just shakes his head in a no- comprende style, holding out his hands, looking surprised. The best thing about the old man though is the way he giggles, he huffs, puffs and snorts like a volcano ready to burst, shaking in his hole body finally letting it out in one long, spasmodic, hysterical giggle. ..

Midsummer

2007-06-25T18:50:00.000Z

Me and katarina celebrating the strange pagan ritual called midsummer feest.

We where pretty drunk when this picture was taken as i should never have done that odd face otherwise..no..hell no..But katta looks great though like a little cupcake.

Göteborg in my hart

2007-06-06T19:27:00.000Z

As i was walking through the great park yesterday it came to me...I'm so in love with this town!
You know it was one of this nice pre-summer evenings, 25 degrees, bare legs and the park all covered with thick barbecue fog. People toasting their rosé wine together, so hard and so enthusiastic that all you could hear, passing by was one big but yet so tender, klirrrr. So as i walked with my shiny black bike i thought about how much I've missed this. Even the mosquito's seemed as a romantic side kicker. Then later that night as we where sitting at the bar, sipping our beer, Tomas my friend got a mosquito bite, right on the lip. He now looks like he is harelipped.

working late

2007-04-30T19:43:00.000Z

im sitting at my new job working late, its almost 22 and i've to hang around here for another hour..it kind of nice though, the tv is running in the background, CSI new york, which is, btw nothing compared to CSI Las Vegas...People look so dressed up in the new york version, all shiny and combed....hmm...well thats that.....

Van Morrison days

2007-03-22T18:45:00.000Z

If you have ever heard the song, brighter side of the road, by Van (the man) Morrison..you know what I'm talking about when i refer to a Van Morrison day...i mean look at him, its great...The brighter side of the road type of days are coming to town...The sun is shining, dogs are running in the green grass, people kissing in public, a little butterfly is clapping his wings, birds are feeding each other...someone is walking, carrying a watermelon...oops he dropped it, and starts to laugh, the baker with fresh baked bread, the butcher with a big smile cleaning his knifes, the bees making honey, the man who carries flowers hurrying home to his pregnant wife, someone starts to dribble a ball and now the hole street gets engaged...phu...
yes..spring cant come soon enough
peace out

2007-03-06T09:19:00.000Z

psssst...ey waaaazzzzup.. he whispered as i past him by..
do you wanna buy something..i got it all lady..name your flavour, name your pick...and I'm your man...
I got chocked here was clearly one of those gangster dogs that you sometimes read about. Apparently they hang around certain spots downtown, looking all cute, pretending to be mans best friend..but no no they are just out there for the moneey, trying to suck good people like me down that slippery road of crime and abuse..
aaa.a a...mr..i said waving my finger at his nose..who are you kidding i know your type..I'm not buying anytheeng from youuu...who do you think you r fooling with your expensive accessories and puppy eyes..not me at least..i can tell you so much...you burn in hell now.....

Hahaha i laughed as i continued my walk...
i certainly showed that little ghetto bastard where to put it...

non-smoking

2007-02-26T18:17:00.000Z

Yesterday just as i was about to fall a sleep, i got clear awake...after taking care of that annoying itch on my left pinkie toe...i said to myself..tomorrow, tomorrow will be the day when you try to quiet smoking...i heard a silent fanfar and fell asleep...so when i woke up this morning i did my usual morning routine, cold water on my face, coffee and a cigarette..just as i was about to lit that lovely stick of loveliness i remembered..wait a minute..wasn't i suppose to do something today..well..i smoked the cigarette anyway, thinking that maybe this will be my last one for a while.. tried to get all dramatic about it, pushing hard for those tears, but it didn't happen, it was clear that my mind didn't believe a shit of my vision last night...but i went downtown without taking any cigarettes with me..and i must say it went fine, for a while...around two a clock i forced one of those nasty chewing gums in my mouth...and around four a clock i had forgotten that the chewing gum was nasty and took another one...at six a clock i was ready to call it a day, my eyes actually got all teary and i ran home, like a horse going wild, i galloped all the way...
But I'm happy with this big step today, so far only 2 cigarettes..i think that calls for a celebration..I'm gonna make every day a joyride from now on..but..yes there is a but..if i smoke more than five cigarettes, the celebration is cancelled and i will have to punish myself with long hours of winter sports on television.

The Elks

2007-02-08T11:03:00.000Z

Yesterday i was inside allot, because of the cold..let me tell you bout the cold...its damn cold that's what it is..any hoe, it was not inviting you to go outside, so i stayed inside..but often when one spend a great amount of time indoors, one gets restless..so after a while i decided to take a little walk. First i had to dress myself. Three pair of pants, two hats, five scarfs and eleven sweaters. I decided to take the park route to pay a visit to my friends..the elks. The elks are the guardians of the park. They are huge, brown and have horns, so they have taken the natural position of guarding the park..They stand there high up in the hills, watching down on the city, the people and possible on other elks in the woods somewhere.They don't have the authority though to take action, when a possible crime is taking place, they simply have to report to a human, cause the humans have the guns and..the elks doesn't use guns.. The sun was about to settle in when i after a long climb reached the door to the elk house and they looked a bit sleepy when i raised my hand and said..elks, i come in peace..what is that..i heard on of the elks whisper to another..has someone done it whit your niece..here it has to be added that elks normally don't hear that good..their ears are filled with thick hair..the sight, that's more their thing..The big alpha male muttered back to me..what do you want, my niece is not here and we are busy...this doesn't shake me off, because i know since old that elks are a bit grumpy but underneath all the facade, they are quiet nice and descent creatures..wait id just wanna talk to you a little bit, you see I've been indoors the hole day, I'm bored and i need some advice...here i might sound a bit desperate..but i was..the alpha male shakes his big horns and opens the gate to let me in....so kiddo..what kind of advice do you want..hmm..i answer, i was wondering..yes there is this thing that has been bothering me a bit...why hasn't anyone given me a job yet? hahahaa the elk laughs and laughs..and laughs..and I'm starting to think that he is gonna die on me..just like that...but then he stops and looks serious..you need to get a haircut he says..wait a minute i say..my hair is not that bad...but the elk doesn't answer..he just give me a long look before he kicks me out with his back legs and says goodnight kiddo, the sun is settling and that means crimes..so tatata!...damn you elks i think when i walk down the hill again....

people

2007-01-29T14:44:00.001Z

Yes i feel that people are bothering me a little bit lately..not people in general, no no general people are good, but people in particular. The People that sit in their offices with their bread crumbles in their laps, and with their pictures of smiling family members in front of them, people that sit there, surfing their days away, googling their own names, passing time by the water machine and bothering me with their trained bureaucracy. I came to Sweden thinking that the people would welcome me, like a long lost daughter or at least send me a ice cream cake, but nope..they are instead trying to make everything as complicated as possible. Like registering me in the country...Today i was walking to through the central station to have a cup of coffee with my good friend katarina, when i got stopped by a young guy with shiny teeth...stop he said, don't i know you! ..no no.. i answered you don't... YES i do, we went to the same high school, i cant believe you don't recognise me he continues, with a shiny teeth smile....i say that i don't recognize him, and ask suspiciously what the name of the school is that we shared....He doesn't remember that ,but he is a mobile phone salesman and has a great offer for me. He shows me this very nice phone that works like an ipod with everything in it.and its for free..almost....I'm trying to get away thinking that this must come with a hatch..people just don't give you nice phones for almost nothing like that...but he continues, he really wants to sell me this deal..and goes on and on..finally i say..alright yes i take it just give me the goddamn phone..i sign the papers feeling that this was probably the best thing this day, while he is doing a check on my social numbers...I'm all set to plug the phone in, when he says with tears in his eyes...you are not a Swedish citizen are you....yes yes i am..he says No, you are not listed in the country.....in one second he has demolished the signed papers and turned away from me..so i have to walk away with shame, no phone, no country..the thing is that i registered when i came back, but some of this particular people seem to have spilled coffee on my application or something so...
The list could go on...like the stupid people on the Internet company or the people that are supposed to give me a job...
i need a beer.

The birds

2007-01-25T11:50:00.000Z

I got so disappointed today...i was walking my usual route through the park..lately there have been this two birds, two huge black birds with red bills hanging out together, by the water. I have often seen them stand there, looking sleepy on one leg. So the last days I've been watching them, not that they do much though..but still..today when i was getting ready to pass their hangout, i even took my camera with me this time, they where gone..no sight of two sleepy red bills or black feathers....where are they?? i asked the park attendant, who passed by with a barrel, filled with attendant tools...the birds? he asked, while stroking his ponytail..yes..the big black birds..i answered, getting irritated..ooh those..he continues..yesterday we had a little accident here in the park..the birds came between so to speak...what do you mean, my pulse raising, did something happened to those sweet birds? the attendant shook his head...yes yes sad story actually....he goes on..yesterday, there came this big evil looking bastard of a bear..maybe to find a pit, what do i know..but one thing i know for sure, the bastard was hungry, real hungry..the attendant gets something in his eye, and stops for a moment trying to get it out..yes..i say..continue..ohoh..anyway..the bear ate the birds, with feathers and everything, didn't leave so much as trace after him..you r kidding me!, i outburst..no no, the attendant shakes his head and starts to walk down the hill with his barrel....just as im thinking.. this is probably the last time i see him..he turns around, holding his hand for his eyes, as protection for the sun and says...
we are having a memorial thing for the birds later, if you want to come by..

Thessis

2007-01-17T15:05:00.000Z

So here i am, at the student library, pretending to be a student. I think im pretty good at it, having my not yet finished thessis infront of me all the time, while browsing the worlwideweb. I hate my thessis...its impossible to finish it..im my desperation i've actually thrown myself several ihavefinishedmythessis partys already, feeling proud and accomplished, happily receiving good job and congratulations to you! greetings from friends and family. But the thessis is still there, breathing on my desktop. Im starting to think that im suffering from some great unwill to finish it..that when i do there is nothing left to pretend about, cause its kind of nice to sit here at the university pretending to be an academic, instead of not pretending to be a poor worker, without a degree, waiting for a job..anyhoe, i told my proffesor that she will have it on her desk by friday..i think that i've manged to build up some great expectations about it...by all the time telling her..soon, soon, only some little things left now, i want it to be perfect, just exellent you know..and she always nods her head, answering, good work johanna, im so looking forward seeing it! What i dont tell her is that it kind of sucks..that im just sitting in the library all day looking for typos..

welcome me!

2007-01-15T17:37:00.000Z

Well..i've tried it before..opening a blog..getting more connected..and always with the result of failing...but maybe this time it will be for real..oh yeah!
so, anyhoe...im back in sweden..its kind of strange..and wet..because its raining all the time..big fat swedish drops..but mostly strange, it feels now that ive been away for too long of a time, to be able to settle in with an ease. I started my settling in this weekend doe, by having a homecoming party..it was nice like hell..people got drunk, made out and drank all my taxfree booze..me an my friend tomas started fighting about who was the strongest..it started out all modest, with some good old armwrestling..i was pretty sure of winning, beacuse he has thin arms..but i didnt, so i had to slap him on the winning arm..and then he slapped me..a bit to hard, so i had to hit him with the fist, and the he had to hit me with the fist, damn copycat..it all escalated with some heavy pinching and incredible blue arms..we couldnt come to a conclusion doe, whom was the strongest..so we have decided to meet again this week and compare the bruces, the one with bluest arm wil get a free beer...he claims ofcourse that he is the winner, that he was in so much pain and shame today that he had to wear longsleev for work..i dont believe it..